Marathoning for life

I'm inspired. I'm crazy. I'm lucky. I'm inspirational. I'm nuts. I'm an addict. I am a marathoner, or at least I hope to be one. I recently ran my first marathon, God's Country Marathon in Coudersport, PA, and I think I am hooked. I loved the experience from the training to the race. My life has become better because of this race, and I can't see me not competing for as long as the legs will hold out.

I approached my cousins with the idea of running a marathon way back in December. They all shrugged it off with a response that ranged from raucous laughter to a vague "maybe". That is, everyone except Dave. My elder cousin gave a wishy-washy "sure," which soon turned into a "I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'm in". Although we only got to train together one day over the next six months, it was motivational to know that I had to run when I was tired or sore because Dave was out there doing it. We started training together and we finished the marathon together. In between was four hours and nineteen minutes of talking and one enormous hill. Believe it or not, it was great because I don't get to see my friends as much as I used to, so to have that time to share and reflect was pretty cool thing to do at this point in our lives. The miles slipped by as we talked, and it really helped to forget the increasing pain in the legs. When we finished, I didn't have the rush of accomplishment that others talk about feeling when they finish a marathon. Maybe that's because I never doubted that I could do this. Maybe, it fits more with my philosophy that extols the importance of the journey over the value of the destination. Who knows? What I do know is that I'm hooked on marathoning.

The question that I have to ask myself, though, is why? I'm not a fan of solitary sports, nor have I been a runner all of my life. No, I think that the reason I'm so hooked is because I accomplished something through sheer will power. For the past thirty-five years, I've just sailed along the river of life, following the current wherever it took me. I let life dictate events -- the marathon allowed me to dictate life. It's exhilarating to imagine the possiblities of doing things that I kept putting off. I have finished a marathon because I willed myself to do it. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm in control of myself. It's not a new job or career that did it. I didn't inherit millions of dollars that liberated me. I freed myself. I now look around at my life with a new intensity and happiness. I don't grovel in regret. I feel closer to God than I ever have, and it's all because I am free to make choices. Going to church and communing with God is done out of choice not out of habit. Running is a choice not a doctor-directed mandate. I am madly in love with my wife because I want to not because society says I have to. I play with my son because I like to spend time with him not because some TV shrink says it's my job. I quit worrying about my job and now embrace it because that is my choice.

I don't think that running the marathon made all of those things happen. No, it's just evidence of what you control in your life, and what happiness comes from realizing the potential that life offers. It's just a matter of seizing it.